var howMany = 59 var quote = new Array(howMany+1) quote[0]="I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant." quote[1]="You! Off my planet!" quote[2]="You are validating my inherent distrust of strangers." quote[3]="If I throw a stick, will you leave?" quote[4]="Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." quote[5]="Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife." quote[6]="What's another word for synonym?" quote[7]="Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment." quote[8]="I find your faith in reality amusing." quote[9]="I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce." quote[10]="I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, because they don't know I'm using blanks." quote[11]="Life is like a hot bath, the longer you stay the more wrinkled you get." quote[12]="Age is a very high price to pay for maturity." quote[13]="Don't you ever wonder why Donald and Mickey are never fully clothed?" quote[14]="I don't discriminate, I hate everyone." quote[15]="Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" quote[16]="Sarcasm is just one more service we offer." quote[17]="I'm not as think you as drunk I am." quote[18]="I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse." quote[19]="If at first you don't succeed - don't skydive." quote[20]="Hit any user to continue." quote[21]="Never clean your room while your plane ticket is in it." quote[22]="People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people." quote[23]="I drink to make other people interesting." quote[24]="You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing!" quote[25]="I wanna be like Barbie. That bitch has everything!" quote[26]="I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable." quote[27]="If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie." quote[28]="Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy." quote[29]="So what's the speed of dark?" quote[30]="If at first you do succeed, try not to look too surprised." quote[31]="Clones are people two." quote[32]="Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface." quote[33]="I'm the person your mother warned you about." quote[34]="Save time... see it my way." quote[35]="When I was young I was told that anyone could be President. I'm beginning to believe it." quote[36]="There's too much blood in my alcohol system." quote[37]="I love animals... they're delicious." quote[38]="Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done." quote[39]="I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you." quote[40]="I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory." quote[41]="There is an angel inside of me whom I am constantly shocking." quote[42]="Where there's a will, I want to be in it." quote[43]="You're just jealous because the little voices only talk to me." quote[44]="I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it." quote[45]="And I should care, why?" quote[46]="Life's a bitch. Then you die." quote[47]="Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over." quote[48]="Laziness: Resting before you get tired." quote[49]="If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic." quote[50]="I embarrass my offspring." quote[51]="A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." quote[52]="This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting." quote[53]="Bad spellers of the world untie." quote[54]="A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat." quote[55]="If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?" quote[56]="Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life." quote[57]="If a tin whistle is made of tin, what exactly is a fog horn made of?" quote[58]="You know your body piercing fetish has gone too far if you hear, 'With this nipple ring, I thee wed.'" quote[59]="A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." // ----- function rndnumber(){ var randscript = -1 while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){ randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1)) } return randscript } quo = rndnumber() quox = quote[quo] document.write('' + quox + '')